Work Experience

(1)
"Why are you so excited?", the surgeon asked the patient that was about to be anesthetized."But doc, this is my first operation.""Really? It's mine too, and I am not excited at all."
(2)
A young man, hired by a supermarket, reported for his first day of work. The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom and said, "your first job will be to sweep out the store."
"But I'm a college graduate," the young man replied indignantly.
"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know that," said the manager. "Here, give me the broom, I'll show you how."
(3)
Three men took a small plane to the wilderness in northern Canada to hunt moose over the weekend. The last thing the pilot said was, "Remember, this is a very small plane and you will only be able to bring ONE moose back."
But of course, they killed one each and returned to the plane with three moose.The pilot said: "I have told you to bring one moose only"."That's what you told us last year," the hunters replied, "but for an additional $100 you allowed us to bring three moose. Here, take $100 now."The pilot agrees, and lets them bring all three dead moose onboard.
Just after takeoff, the plane stalled and crashed. In the wreckage, one of the men woke up, looked around and said: "Where the hell are we?" "Oh, just about a hundred yards east of the place where we crashed last year."
(4)
A Manager of a retail clothing store is reviewing a potential employee's application and notices that the man has never worked in retail before. He says to the man, "For a man with no experience, you are certainly asking for a high wage."
"Well Sir," the applicant replies, "the work is so much harder when you don't know what you're doing!"
(5)
The classified ad said, "Wanted: a very experienced lumberjack". A man answered the ad and was asked to describe his experience."I've worked at the Sahara Forest.""You mean the Sahara Desert," said the interviewer.The man laughed and answered, "Oh sure, that's what they call it now!"
(6)Experience is directly proportional to the amount of equipment ruined.
Experience is something you do not get until just after you need it.
Experience is what causes a person to make new mistakes instead of old ones.
Experience is what you get when you were expecting something else.
Experience is knowledge acquired when it's too late.
Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you recognize a mistake when you make it again.